Nov 27, 2020

Card Making and SAT Scores

 Note: I'm reposting this, updated, from 2014. Still rings true to me.

Card Making and SAT scores

A stamper wrote that she enters a lot of challenges and never wins.  Her attempts to get on design teams have failed. She buys a lot from a couple of companies hoping to get the companies' attention. They have ignored her efforts. She is crushed and angry and clueless as to why this is happening.

I read this and winced.

We all wince when we recognize that feeling -- failure is hard. It is even harder when you have no idea why you are being rejected. No one posts a comment that says "no focal point" "messy layers" "too many colors". We are nice to each other in internet land, and that is as it should be. So it is hard to learn unless we are willing to ask. Asking means taking a risk.

However, once I did ask.

It was the practice in my high school to go to the principal and share your SAT scores with her. I knocked on Sr. Ellen's door and walked in. My scores were mediocre, and I was unhappy, particularly since I was a strong student in an academically rigorous high school. I wanted to know why my scores weren't higher. Not skipping a beat, Sr. Ellen looked me in the eye and told me that I wasn't very smart -- that my good grades were the result of my hard work, not my native intelligence. She did not say this with admiration -- almost pity.  

I left her office stunned. I remember thinking  "I thought I was smart but I'm not." 

Turns out that you do not need a high SAT score to live a good life; indeed there is a lot of evidence that SAT scores don't accurately reflect achievement. But even if they did -- even if being on a design team reflects skill and talent, is it worth the angst?

So here's my message to the stamper who feels the stun of rejection or failure. Maybe you are like I am.   I've never been the best in the room at anything I've ever tried. I've always been surrounded by better lawyers, better cooks, better housekeepers. I'm not the star anything. 

But even with my limitations, my humanity, I've succeeded when it really mattered -- in my heart I know that I have loved and am loved. The rest, including card making and design teams and SAT scores and blunt principals, is gravy.

So, if you can find it in yourself to enjoy stamping without that definition of "winning," pick up that ink pad and stamp. And relax and enjoy it. Smile. And smile again and again, knowing that you are doing something you enjoy. And if you still yearn to do design work, ask yourself why and if you are happy with the answer, change things up. Reach out and ask folks for ideas on how to improve. 

Sometimes mixing a hobby with competition just doesn't work. Not everyone gets an 800 or even a 500 in card making. But everyone can get get an 800 in sending a card to a friend or a stranger, knowing that it will bring a smile to that person.

You be the judge on who the winner is in that competition.   

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

I remember when you first posted this. It really is so true and perfect for this time of year when we are reminded of what we are grateful for. And that's just about everything!

Patricia R.

Leslie Miller said...

Here, here!

SmilynStef said...

Amen my dear card-making sister, amen. My problem is that in academics I was always the one with the 4.0 GPA ... but cardmaking is so very different. It reminds me of a post card that used to hang near my desk that said something like "no one cares what your GPA was".

~amy~ said...

One day I'd love to sit, chat and have a cup of coffee with you. Thank you for sharing [and resharing] your thoughts and stories.

Kathy T. said...

Thank you for this. I’ve always been so very average at everything I’ve done. I’m almost 59 and still waiting to find the one thing I naturally excel at! I need to chill lol

Lola G. said...

Oh Joan, this is such a valuable piece! Thank you for thinking to repost it. Right now my husband is very ill, and I’m having to step up and rather quickly learn procedures that are definitely outside my bag of knowledge. I’m not scoring an 800 on any of it, but I know I’ll improve as I go along. It reminds me of my journey in papercrafting, which I bump along with, loving my successes when they show up. As you said, it’s enough just knowing that it will bring a smile to someone’s face. All the best to you and yours as we search for ways to do our best in these challenging times.

brandco2450@gmail.com said...

This is great! I agree 100%!
Thank you, Joan.
Sharon

Meg McAlister said...

Oh Joan, this reminds me of a conversation I feel like I "overheard" yesterday because it happened on the internet and I chose to read and not respond.

For me, you nailed it in your final paragraph - none of the rest matters. If you enjoy making cards, make the cards and send them. You can send them to strangers, to friends, anyone. It is that act of kindness that will change the world.

XOXO Meg

vdoyle8 said...

Thank you for reminding me that comparison is the thief of joy. Happy Holidays - hope you are feeling well.

Kathy W said...

Joan, thank you for such a wonderful message. Such a great reminder to embrace what makes us happy, and to feel good about ourselves. As a paper crafter, I feel I have zero creativity to make something original but I LOVE to CASE the examples I find in blog land that make my heart sing. Sometimes there is a tutorial, but lots of times it is a puzzle to figure out how the card was created. I love that challenge. And friends and family enjoy the cards/tags. In the scope of life, it's all good.

Anonymous said...

Yes, make and mail...for me it's make and donate to my local little hospital. That gives me my personal points...I never took the SAT or ACT, no art class was ever better than a C. I've learned what I've learned from a few people on-line, thank you...you are one of them!
Faye

Andrew and Bertha Pilgrim said...

What a great message! I love your writing and personal philosophy. As vdoyle8 says "comparison is the thief of joy". It's a timely reminder that I can always choose to refocus on what I love about scrapbooking and cardmaking and forget everything else. I learn from you in so many ways. I'm all for that chat as ~amy~ says... no coffee though!! :) Happy Holidays!

Jen W. said...

I love this! When I started card making I felt a lot like that stamper. I didn't think I'd ever win a challenge or be on a design team no matter how hard I tried but I wanted both SO badly. When I look back at my cards from 10 years ago I can see why I didn't get anywhere. It took a lot of practice, trial and error and "studying" the cards I admired to become the crafter that I am today. I'm now comfortable with my style and confident in what I produce (for the most part). I've won challenges and been on a few design teams but you know what? That actually got really stressful and sucked the joy out of creating. I'm on one DT now and enter challenges when their inspiration strikes me but I often forget to even check who the winners are. Now I'm just making cards because it's my zen time and I love it.

luvhymns said...

Great lesson....

Kate said...

As far as I am concerned, you are a really good cardmaker which is why I visit your blog. I am often amazed at how stunning your cards are. I know that this skill is no great shakes in the scheme of things overall, but I think it is nice to be good at some things. You are right though, competitiveness and cardmaking really are poor bedfellows. I don't do the competitive thing, I just can't be bothered. I make stuff because it pleases me. If others like it, great. If not, well, whatever. At base, it is about having confidence in your own abilities without having to look for validation from others all the time.

Diana K said...

I agree with every word you say. A hobby should be a joy not a job. If you happen to have extraordinary ability then good! More nice things for me to look at.

Now comes the "but". I find paper crafting, and in particular card making, to be the very strangest of hobbies. Not the creative part where a cardmaker gets enormous self satisfaction from the act of creating something and sending out some love and fun to friends, but the industry part. I can't think of another hobby where the participants are encouraged non stop to keep buying things, to be a loyal customer, to support the business, with the secret promise that if you do you can perhaps become an "insider". It's almost a cult. I might not notice this if I didn't follow creators on social media, but I do 'cause I love to see beautiful things.

Personally, I'm not "really" influenced by the constant commercials 'cause I don't have the budget plus I'm cheap and can usually make do with something I already have. But I often wonder if people are spending more money than they can afford because of the messages. What other hobbies include "haul" videos? I find it all to be a bit sad really.

Vikki H said...

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Here, here. And I do agree with Diana K. The endless weekly, monthly releases are crazy. It's discouraging to see it all.