Apr 1, 2019

Breaking News! Patent Pending!! Giveaway!







PRESS RELEASE

April 1, 2019

DEAR PAPERLICIOUS LLC OBTAINS PATENT ON INVISIBLE STAMPS AND DIES


Dallas, Texas, April 1, 2019/Real News Corp. Dear Paperlicious today announced the issuance of a patent on its new line of Invisible Stamps and Dies known as "Really Clear Stamps™ and Really Clear Dies™."

"I got tired of cleaning and storing my stamps and dies. 
I'm thrilled that I can leave 
my Really Clear Stamps™ and Really Clear Dies™ anywhere in the house 
and my husband won't be able to see them." 

This new line of stamps and dies also addresses the increasing amount of blatant theft design in the industry. "Thieves here in the US and China, and elsewhere, steal the designs of hardworking stamp companies and sell them online and at craft shows." Some customers buy these stolen stamps and dies without knowing that they have been stolen, but most purchasers are fully aware that they are buying stolen property. In addition to being illegal and unethical, this practice threatens the existence of many small companies.

"The sellers and the customers who buy stolen property
are no better than the thief who breaks into your house and steals your wallet and possessions. 
The number of companies whose stamp and die designs have been stolen, and the number of customers who knowingly buy these stolen products, is ** appalling. 
I had to do something."

Patent No. 4.1.2019 covers a groundbreaking new process and material by which clear stamps are, finally, really clear. And, because, once we graduate from kindergarten, we are unable to use scissors, all Really Clear Stamps™ will come bundled with coordinating Really Clear Dies™. 

The patent also covers a mechanism by which purchases can see their Really Clear™ stamps and dies -- a clever new device that permits the crafter to place the stamps and dies on a special electronic InVisibility Plate™. The InVisibility Plate™ will allow the stamps and dies to be visible for 30 minutes (90 minutes during certain time change periods). "We recommend that stampers remember where they've placed their Really Clear Stamps™ and Really Clear Dies™ in order to be able to put them on the InVisibility Plate™.  Note: the InVisibility Plate™is currently visible.

"The InVisibility Plate™ is pure genius."

For more information, please leave a comment below. All commenters will be eligible for the opportunity to giveaway some of their $$ to Dear Paperlicious to defray the costs of making and distributing these products. Winners will be announced soon.

All products will be available exclusively at well known legitimate craft stores no later than April 1, 2020.


** "is appalling" or "are appalling"?

21 comments:

  1. i always come here on april 1 for a crafty laugh. thanks for not disappointing!

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  2. This is priceless, Joan! Thanks for the morning giggle.

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  3. Happy April Fools! Great post. Going with is appalling...word number is not plural.

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  4. Thanks for the humor, Joan. You made me grin with the jab about scissors.

    It's "is appalling," because the noun that the verb refers to is the singular "number." Since "companies" and "customers" are each part of prepositional phrases, they don't affect the plurality/singularity of the verb, because the verb occurs outside of the prepositional phrases.

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  5. You are too funny! Pure genius, Joan!!

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  6. Ha! Humorous with some hard truth. Agree with others... "number" is the noun and it's singular, so the verb is also singular.

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  7. I am hoping you are also working on a Really Clear die cut machine, as mine seems to be permanently parked on my dining room table. It would be a pleasure to not see it.

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  8. I didn't get to see this article till April 2 nd UK time but it made me howl laughing. My much neglected partner would adore me to invest in this range, along with the suggested die cutting machine, man alive out house would be tidier xxxx

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  9. A fabulous post, Joan, and a clever invention as well. Just perfect for crafters like me who tend to hoard supplies without actually using them. They will be much easier to store and organise as well. I could leave them anywhere in the house without my husband noticing, lol.

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  10. I just love your sense of humor. What a fabulous invention this might be. Thank you for the laughs.

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  11. Sign me up!! I want to get in on the ground floor of this new technology.

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  12. Missed this yesterday, LOL. Love this part especially: "... once we graduate from kindergarten, we are unable to use scissors ..."! I used to make my own paper dolls, and enormous wardrobes for them, and now I can't even trim off something that's overhanging the side of a card. Glad you're feeling well enough to give us treats.

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  13. I love your April 1st posts. Thanks for this one. It's great!

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  14. About these Really Clear Stamps and Dies, since there is really nothing to 'em, then the shipping is free...right? I do realize that the new decoder device may be pricey. What a concept. Count me in!

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  15. Too fun. Thanks! Made me smile!

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  16. "is"! And I honestly read it the first time as #!@? in place of the **!!! Ha! OMGosh Joan, you have outdone yourself this time!!! Love this! FYI... I would totally buy this too... I'm a sucker for new tools!

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  17. Thank you for this. And for the much needed belly laugh. 😘

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  18. LOL! You are so funny and imaginative. I miss your story about the lady stamper.

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