Once highly regarded, but now shunned, and using the pseudonym "M", M will publish Stamping Destroyed My Life, it was announced this morning by Deefunct Publishing Co, LLC.
Stamping Destroyed My Life is the gripping story of how a suburban housewife with everything, including a Scrapbox filled with hundreds of thousands of dollars of stamping paraphernalia, ended up sentenced to 3 to 5 years, with only a comic sans alphabet stamp set and a touch-too-orange red dye ink pad left in her roll on tote.
Its 466 pages are filled with snappy dialogue and a rapid-paced plot that rips off the lid of the stamping world. Just a few of the topics M uncovers:
- Design Team Nightmares
- What happened when stampers learned that elephants and foxes do not really speak
- Release Night Mania
- Why instagram has so many pictures of cats
- The differences between stampers in Washington State and stampers in Utah, and
- What's in photopolymer that turns stampers into crackanistas (hint: added sugar).
It's about M.
You will enter M's world, from home parties in the tony suburbs of Washington DC to the gritty subways of New York, where furtive stampers unload barely used supplies in exchange for a sneak peek at the next release of something. Watch M on a stamping cruise, gulping watered-down margaritas while playing the penny slots to earn enough for "more". See M at CHA, stealing designs and selling them to anyone who can explain the planner craze, and at a brad factory-turned-sequin factory in the far east, stuffing her carumba with precious round plastic gold pieces.
Live with M as she reaches the heights of the stamping industry only to fall victim to the very industry that breathed hot gun air into her mundane life. Find out what grade her son got on the science fair project .... and whether M can complete her sentence at a halfway house.
Stay tuned to this blog for further updates, including what famous retired person will play M in the movie!!!!!
Expected publication date: 2017
Expected movie release: 2020